I had a dream that this guy kept going around and telling everyone I was cotton candy in disguise.
The hair gave it away. Well was your hair cotton candy pink?
Some dude told me I looked like a less hotter Tila Tequila. The fuck, bro?
Tila Tequila is not hot so you’re a whole lot hotter than she is.
Just had a good work out. But now I’m all sweaty and gross. Must showerr! OH and just found out my roommate is Nathan?…Awkward..
Yes awkward indeed!
I’ll be sure to keep you away from my food.
That’s okay, because both of my brothers do that to me all of the time.
Did you succeed?
Yes that I did.
Why is that?
You can really eat two pizzas by yourself?
Yeah if you leave them with me.